october 2 / by IKB

My favorite singer is to release a new album in October. I’ve had a chance to listen to one of the new songs; I am hooked. By consequence, I have begun to listen to his music and naturally, I have been transported to all those infinite moments, those instances of my life, which I shall enumerate in no particular order:

1. Lui whispering in my ear, signaling some boy at Tower Records in Austin. He held my hand at the bottom of the staircase, impelling me to follow him upstairs. I wanted to go, but I could see craig’s eyes devouring me, violently, hatefully. I was trying to be puerile — free.

2. Tiptoeing on a yellow curb. It was night time and it had rained earlier. I lost my balance and tumbling I went, into a dirty puddle. Splash!

3. Hiding under a bed for days on end, most of the time lost in deep sleep.

4. Long walks along unknown roads, simply guided by a single landmark and a desire to stop feeling, to cease the hurt and sadness. For it was an all-consuming sadness that consumed my being. I had been puerile and free, yet I had been punished for it. Now I harvested sadness.

5. An Aunt is driving me home. Of a sudden my mood changes and I am lost for words, absorbed completely in a sudden rush of joy. I want to kiss everyone on the lips yet I remain in place, glowing; my chest burns. Later, I faint but it is from hunger. However, I am happy; I have experienced magic: my bipolarity.