Life is a shapeless blob. You have to be a craftsman, an artist – a poet to give this thing shape and form. Only a poet can make sense of life, which, through his art he turns into poetry, i.e., something beautiful all unto itself.
My name is Juan but at one point I transcended this mono-syllabic thing. I have always been known by other names. I even went through a phase where I’d call myself Julian. Why? I honestly do not know.
But having my sisters named Geranium and Lark – no my parents were not hippies – did leave me wondering: and why the fuck was I named Juan? And that’s the problem, my parents did not bother to name me. The task was left to my grandparents. So much for that.
So I have two sisters, although everyone seems to be under the impression that I am an only child; this is not the case. I also have two parents (each of the opposite sex). They are married.
I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area (the Peninsula to be exact). I had a funny childhood and when I say funny, I honestly mean fucked up. My Father was an alcoholic and boy, was he an alcoholic! Though he’s changed for the most part, I still regard him as an alcoholic. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic eh?
My mother was different. She was dour but caring. Loving but not overbearing. Strong but sensitive. And also very stubborn. In one word: me. I love my mother.
Amid the nonsense, I came to love books. Perhaps it was a refuge from the turmoil that a strange family dynamic produced.
In retrospect, I ask myself. Who are these people [my Family]. I am nothing like them! They are loud, happy, social people and I am a dejected, quiet introvert.
I am an iconoclast of sorts: virulently anti-clerical; dispassionate about the traditional family unit; atheistic; vegetarian; and sensitive. Could I have been more anti-Latino? Yes, to the list one may also add gay.
And ironically, though my culture is against me or does not recognize my existence – Spanish-speakers have a rather difficult time understanding the concept of vegetarianism – there are things in which I find comfort, e.g., the food. I also love the family dynamic when family members come together; it’s rather lively and amazing.
Currently, I am a student at St. John’s College ( a quaint reactionary college. I say reactionary because while other institutions prefer the Nuremberg Funnel style of learning, the College prefers the Socratic Method.
However, I believe that the Socratic Method as implemented at the College loses whatever advantages it has over the other method. This is due to the fact that College forces students to study things that they may quite possibly have no affinity for. Of course, the College does this in the attempt to create a generally educated individual. Yes, it’s quite noble and nice, like Jesus Christ’s “Love one Another”.
But nothing is perfect, now is it?
The College is composed of two campuses. After spending my first two years at the Santa Fe campus, and a one year interlude, I am now continuing at the Annapolis campus.